Youâve said you felt blindsided in that moment, but do you still feel that way as youâve watched the season unfold?
I see him being overwhelmed by me in a way that I didnât see in person. So I think Iâm less blindsided in that sense. But otherwise, no, because those conversations never felt like the end of us. They just felt like, you have your opinion about this, I have my opinion about this.
Looking back a year later, where Iâm in a different space in my life and headspace, I was trying to make a lot of concessions. I wanted to be with him, and I wanted it to work so bad that I was willing to be like, âOkay, youâre making me feel bad about my career but we can get past that.â And now Iâm like, Dude, no.
Do you think heâs the feminist he thinks he is?
I donât knowâ¦I donât think heâs as feminist as he thinks he is, no. Because I think he is a lot more selfish than he realizes and I just donât think heâs aware of it.
I think he is a good person. I just donât think he realizes how he comes across. Heâs like, âI hear what youâre saying, but I donât really care,â because no matter how feminist a man is going to be, heâs still going to have a blind spot because heâs a man at the end of the day.
He did seem to talk down to you throughout the season.
Yeah, I agree with that perspective. As I watch it, Iâm like, God, Marissa, heâs not listening to anything youâre saying. Heâs like, âNo one put a gun to your head when you joined [the military],â and I was like, âDid you not hear anything I just said?â
There is a moral superiority that comes into play in our conversations, where itâs like, okay, I donât have a degree, I donât have this, I donât have that, but I am more progressive than you, and I care more about the world than you, so therefore Iâm gonna say it in small ways to make you feel that way. At the time, I didnât really notice it, but I see it now. And I already have my sister being my progressive awakening. I donât need yours.
