What many people love about good oral is that it feels like you’re worshiping your partner’s body. If you want to lean into that element, go full-on tantric and imagine you are taking in your partner’s essence and power through your mouth. For the best blow job, “suck and worship your partner’s cock—but also imagine and see their cock as really worshiping your mouth,” says Bashout.
This is where deep throating can come in—within the limits of your gag reflex, of course. “The back of your throat is connected to your pussy, so this can really hit the spot for awakening your erotic juju too,” Bashout explains. “Try sounding and playing with vibrations. Get rocked into abandon. Die to yourself by feeling it all. Surrender yourself at the hot and holy temple. Take the bumpers off with a safe partner. Find the sacred slut or inner porn star and let them come out to play in all their unabashed glory!” This is what will truly take your sex life to a new level.
Suzannah Weiss is a writer, certified sex educator, sex/love coach, and sex expert whose work has been published in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and more. Her book Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject describes her search for sexual empowerment and her vision for a world where no woman is objectified. You can find her on Twitter, on Instagram, or at suzannahweiss.com.
Cristina Coppa is a writer, editor, researcher, and creative consultant.