First and foremost, lube up! No matter your gender or where you’ll be putting your dildo, lubricant cuts down on friction and makes for better play, Dr. Queen says. (Don’t know where to start? Peep the best lube for masturbation.) Again, if you’re using a silicone toy, which is likely, stick to water-based lubricants to keep your toys from falling apart.
The way you play is up to you, whether you go for long, slow strokes or get going like a jackhammer. “You don’t have to insert the entire toy if it isn’t comfortable to do so,” Dr. Queen notes. “When using a dildo by hand, you can just hold it at the shaft near the base if you want to insert a limited part of its full length.”
Some people with vulvas are able to orgasm from penetration and G-spot stimulation alone, meaning a dildo is a great toy to add to your arsenal. To make it easier to orgasm, Dr. Queen explains, you can also add clitoral stimulation with vibrators, suction toys, or your fingers—especially if you’re using a suction cup dildo, which leaves both hands free to explore.
You can also use a dildo for anal play—if it has a flared base because you don’t want it to get stuck inside you. People with prostates can actually experience hands-free orgasms with the right stimulation; look for dildos with curved shafts or heads to make it easier to find and massage the P-spot. (The toys also make regular old masturbation feel even better.) People with vulvas, on the other hand, can actually achieve orgasm by indirectly stimulating the G-spot in the vagina.
