Figure out how you want to use the dildo. Want to try anal? Make sure your dildo has a flared base so it doesn’t get stuck in your butt (eek!). Want some hands-free fun? Opt for a dildo with a strong suction cup, says sex and relationship therapist David Khalili, LMFT.
Consider the material of the dildo. Silicone is the most popular for its soft, skin-like feel. Notably, silicone dildos should only be used with water-based lube, since silicone-based and oil-based options might actually cause the toy to break down. Borosilicate glass, hypoallergenic metal (like stainless steel and titanium), and acrylonitrile butadiene styrene (ABS) plastic dildos are more rigid than silicone, allowing you to experiment with different sensations. They can also be used with any personal lubricant you like and are easy to clean—but are not usually designed to fit into a strap-on harness, if you’re interested in pegging or anal sex.
Take into account the dildo’s size and length. “Think about any penetration experiences that have been pleasurable—or for that matter, too much or not enough—and do your best to guesstimate the size of the fingers, object, penis, or whatever it was that you know you liked or know you didn’t,” Carol Queen, PhD, staff expert at Good Vibrations, says. While your impulse might just be to buy a large dildo, there’s a chance it won’t feel great unless you know that bigger really does feel better for your body—as in, you’ve enjoyed sex with a partner with a bigger penis.
Think about its design and shape. Some dildos are almost scarily lifelike, others are colorful, rippled, or even decorated with confetti, and others look more like modern art. Decide which feels most like a turn-on to you. Consider its shape as well since some dildos come with curved shafts or heads to make it easier to find and massage the P-spot and G-spot.
