You might want to read this through the bathroom door to someone you love: doctors are recommending that you don’t spend more than 10 minutes on the toilet at a time due to serious health concerns.
In other words, sh*t or get off the pot is now official medical advice that can be weaponized against your spouse. You’re welcome.
But let’s back up: According to a recent study, men spend almost twice as much time on the toilet than women do, averaging 20 minutes. And, anecdotally, the men in my life are incredibly good at disappearing for a potty break for 30-45 minutes, especially at times when they’re needed most by the family unit, like right after dinner when the kitchen needs cleaning at the same exact time the kids need to be put to bed.
Here’s another fact: A 2017 study found that all mammals, including human males, don’t need more than 12 seconds to poop if the plumbing is working right.
And finally: A 2018 British study found that the reason at least one out of three men are in the bathroom for an extended period is exactly what their spouses might have suspected: They’re avoiding family life. Another 25 percent admit to using the bathroom to “cope” while 23 percent said that they consider it a “safe space.”
Now a doctor on Instagram has shared one of the biggest health concerns about prolonged time on the throne, and it’s gone viral.
“When I tell my patients that prolonged sitting on the toilet causes blood to pool in your anal veins, which may cause hemorrhoids to form, so you’re best to not spend time sitting and scrolling,” captioned Dr. Joe Whittington, who goes by Dr. Joe on social media, in a video where he’s staring blankly into the camera blinking.
The video has been liked by over 275,000 people and viewed over 30 million times so far — although there’s no way to know how many people watched from the WC.
“Can you mass send this to all husbands on Instagram?” reads one of the most popular comments.
Although another popular comment reads, “Commenting from the toilet.”
This is not the first time that doctors have warned men about spending too much unneeded time in the bathroom, and hemorrhoids are not the only thing to worry about.
Dr. Jonathan Lazare, MD, a urologist who practices in Brooklyn, NY. Dr. Lazare explained to Scary Mommy in 2017 that sitting too long too regularly can cause rectal fissures, increase the chance of hernias, and could possibly even exacerbate male varicoceles (which are basically varicose veins inside the scrotum).
In addition, in rare cases, rectal prolapse is possible (do not do an image search, trust me).
“Do what you have to do and leave,” Dr. Lazare said bluntly.
Sounds like a perfect thing to spray paint across the bathroom wall, if you are looking for decor ideas.
Dr. Lai Xue, a colorectal surgeon at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas, told CNN that all of these issues occur because of your positioning on the toilet. The oval hole in your john positions the rectum lower than the rest of your body and creates pressure in the buttocks in a way that’s much different than sitting on the chair or couch.
“It becomes a one-way value where blood enters, but blood really can’t go back,” Xue said.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. If you have a tummy issue like colitis or a stomach virus, you’re going to need some extra time. But if you haven’t pooped after 10 minutes, Xue suggests getting out of there and trying again later.
