After some couples therapy sessions, our therapist recommended that in some of our dumbest arguments, instead of letting things spiral totally out of control into something not so dumb, try laughing in the middle of the fight and recognize how silly we’re being.
And honestly: it works! The vibe of the room totally shifts. We feel better. The laughter takes us out of the moment and resets the mood. Laughter is the best medicine, I guess. And apparently, humor is not just a remedy for cranky married couples like me and my husband.
According to a new study, parents who use humor also build better relationships with their kids.
The study, published in the journal PLOS One, indicates that using humor in our parenting might have a bigger impact than we realize, including the fostering of several social-emotional skills.
The authors of the pilot study found that while there was a lot of existing research on how parents can use play-based parenting in their child-rearing efforts, there was very little information about the inclusion of humor.
So, they asked a selection of adult respondents about if and how their own parents used humor at home and how those people viewed those childhood experiences years later.
Turns out funny parents were viewed more positively, had stronger relationships with their adult kids, and were perceived as better and more effective parents.
They surveyed 312 people between the ages of 18 and 45. More than half said they were raised by people who used humor and 71.8% agreed that humor can be an effective parenting tool. The majority said they do or plan to use humor with their children and believe that it has more potential benefit than harm.
The team also found a correlation between a parent’s use of humor and the way their children, who are now adults, viewed the way they were parented and their relationship with their parents.
Unsurprisingly, those who reported that they had a good relationship with their parents, 63% said that their parents used humor whereas 3.7% said that their parents didn’t use humor. Of those who reported that they thought their parents did a good job parenting them, 68.4% said their parents used humor whereas 5.6% said that their parents didn’t use humor.
“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” said Benjamin Levi, professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine and senior author of the study. “My father used humor and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children. The question became, how does one constructively use humor?”
This study is only a starting point. However, Levi and his team hope this study will lay the groundwork for more.
