One mom wants to encourage more parents to be lazy when it comes to serving and tending to their kids. After a conversation with another parent, she realized that not all kids were as independent and self-sufficient as hers. She wants to share with other parents just how she went about making sure her kids could take care of themselves in an age-appropriate way.
“We recently had friends visit. One of their kids is … a year older than my oldest. And my friend was like, ‘I’m doing something wrong.’ I’m like, ‘What are you doing wrong?’ She’s like, ‘Your kids are so independent. They go make themselves food. They grab a snack. They like, smear their own bagel,’” TikTok mom @leahova recalled.
“Her son was like, ‘I want breakfast.’ And then … basically if she didn’t make him a bagel, he … couldn’t have a bagel. And I was like, ‘You just need to be lazier.’”
She thinks everyone is helping their kids too much.
“What is the expression like the best form of parenting is high attentiveness, but low interference? Is that a thing? I think that’s a thing. Be around, be there if they need you. But just be like, ‘Honey, I’m literally having a coffee right now. You can get it yourself,’” she continued.
She recalls a time when her kids has friends over and they wanted a snack. She offered them apples, but when they questions how they would eat it if it’s not cut…she challenged them to figure it out.
“I’m like, ‘Do you not know how to eat an apple when it’s not cut?’”
She continued, “And honestly, I think that there are literally 10-year-olds that don’t know how to do that … You can always tell the kids whose parents are like literally doing everything for them. And I want everyone to know you can be lazier. Honestly, it probably makes your kids better. You need to be a lazier parent.”
After her post gained traction, several TikTok users commented on the video with their own opinions on her hot take.
“That’s not lazy parenting, it’s raising capable humans!🥰” one user wrote.
“My mom’s favorite saying: ‘I raised you to leave me,’” another said.
One added, “I heard someone say ‘raise capable kids’ they might make a mess. But they can learn to clean that up as well.”
Others couldn’t get on board with her line of thinking, wondering if her kids (or herself) would be capable of following through.
“I struggle so hard with this bc they are literally so slow to do EVERYTHING. It’s torture 😭” she wrote.
Helping kids grow their independence and gain a sense of responsibility might be hard for parents who are always busy and on the go, it’s a practice of patience for sure, but the pay off seems worth it!
